Gratitude

Yesterday we had “Gratitude Sunday” at our church and of course, it was Thanksgiving in the States on Thursday. (Let me just say, I am grateful to not live in the States right now and will celebrate that every day, not just on the fourth Thursday every November!) It reminded me that gratitude is a way of life, not an emotion, or a feeling. It is a choice you make when you wake up in the morning and throughout the rest of the day. There is plenty of research and data confirming this, and I know many psychologists and therapists encourage people to keep a gratitude journal. I was thinking I would write down a few of the things for which we are grateful here:

• I’m grateful that I get to work in an environment where there is so much kindness, love, gentleness and beauty all day long, in every space.
• I’m grateful that I work in a place where people laugh, hug and cry often.
• I’m grateful that people trust us with their loved ones’ care and allow us to step into their most private and vulnerable moments.
• I’m grateful for the amazing smells! Dylan cooks such wonderful food and the aromas that drift around this lodge are enough to put the grumpiest of people in a good mood.
• I’m grateful for camaraderie. The staff have a little club where they share lunch every day. It is so sweet how they plan and contribute and share meals.
• I’m grateful for the miracles we witness. It is not always the spectacular healings we’ve seen, like when severely ill people make a supernatural recovery, but the tiny glimmers of hope when relationships are restored, when a son arrives in time to say good bye to a mom, when a lonely journey suddenly gets changed to one of connection, when a knee-replacement stops acute chronic pain, the first smile after a stroke, the acceptance that chemo won’t work and a peace-filled choice is made not to have further treatment, the finding of the right balance of meds, the miracle of a child’s laughter, the gentle squeeze of a calloused hand.
• I’m grateful that our cats spread so much love to all and sundry (except me. I rescued them from imminent death, and they have not once in 6 years acknowledged my existence, but they adore almost everyone else).
• I’m grateful that Storm knows the exact amount of milk to put in my tea, so I don’t have to go make it myself.
• I am grateful for Olida, whom I have known and loved for seventeen years, and trust with every cell in my body.
• I am grateful our gardener’s name is Remember. Every day I am able to make really weak jokes about it, which everyone is sick of, but gives me great joy. (I am very sad that Forget no longer works here. I had the best time with those two names and throwing in some terrible verbs about memory… I am amazed that I actually have any friends.).
• I am grateful for the people who stay with us and their stories of which we become a part of for a time. Getting to know and love such a variety of people keeps putting things in perspective.
• I am grateful for the amazing people with whom we get to work and learn from: specialists, doctors, physios, OT’s, social workers, dieticians, psychologists, hairdressers, pastors, funeral directors, nail technicians, electricians and even sometimes builders (when I do not want to put them into end-of -life care that is).
• I am grateful that Nobuhle keeps getting new hairstyles and never fails to surprise me with what she comes up with, and that Nthabiseng is now blonde, so that I do not have to be the only one.
• I’m grateful that we keep in touch with so many of the people and their families who have stayed with us. It feels like we have an extended network all over the world of people who love us.
• I’m grateful that Dylan peels my apple and cuts it up for me so that I don’t have to do it myself.
• I am grateful when Obakeng changes her extensions because then I know it is payday
• I’m grateful to be in Africa where people are agile, generous, warm, inviting, kind, enthusiastic, and laugh easily and often.
• I’m grateful for Joburg’s wonderfully mild climate (except the past few days have been quite horrid and I am actually lying under an air conditioner right now as I am typing these words).

• I’m grateful for staff keen on improving and learning. We just sent five staff to Red Cross last week to further hone their skills. I am grateful that they want to learn, want to care, want to help. Bongiwe who recently moved from our other lodge has been such an asset and is already so loved at SRL.
• I’m grateful to George, Kundai and Eddie who bring some balance to a predominantly female-dominated profession. They bring the testosterone and balance the emotions wonderfully.
• I’m grateful for Talent’s big eyes that simply go bigger rather than tell me she is worried.
• I’m grateful to Leonard who can fix everything, from the Wi-Fi to the geysers to the electric fences. I am also grateful that he is a phenomenal prayer warrior and often prays us through some difficult moments.
• I am grateful for debriefing. I know my shrink helps me cope and our staff’s individual sessions and group sessions with our psychologist and social worker help us function better and keeps our mental health, healthy.
• I am grateful for conversations I get to have. Today I spoke to a new guest who is 95! She has lived through the second world war, Apartheid, Covid, putting a man on the moon and the eighties’ terrible fashion choices. I get to be in the presence of such wisdom and experience!
• I am grateful to Godfrey. He smiles ALL THE TIME! It is like living in a real-life-Colgate-commercial.
• I am grateful that I had the immense privilege to have my dad at the lodge for 14 precious months and that we could care for him in a way that his dignity remained intact, that he was enfolded in unlimited amounts of love, and that I have memories of our last weeks together that will sustain me when my grief overwhelms me.
• I am grateful for new exciting prospects and partnerships, which I trust will flourish in the new year and make it to my blog in January.
• I am grateful that Felicia brings her chubby little baby to work sometimes so I can cuddle him and of course, smell those fat cheeks and curly locks.
• I am grateful for the incredible advances made in the medical field all the time and that we can witness and benefit from them.
• I am grateful that I can honestly say that some of the people that have crossed our threshold here have become some of my closest friends.
• I am grateful that we have touched so many lives that people come back wanting to volunteer here, give of their time, invest in remembrance walls and stay in touch.
• I am grateful for the gentle, pain-free deaths we witness when people slip away comfortably and loved.
• I am grateful for experiencing the triumphant spirit of human beings and their ability to overcome the most traumatic and unfair events and keep their joy intact.
• I am grateful for being able to witness such incredibly tender moments and quietly watching people love each other.
• I am grateful to live so close to the abyss of our lives, a daily remembrance that we are finite, that all this is temporary, that we really need not take ourselves so very seriously.
• I am grateful I get to experience so much beauty every day that it balances out the brutal and unfair diagnoses, deaths that happen too soon, broken hearts and anger.
• I am grateful for my team, each and every one of them, that carry me and trust me to have their back.

I am particularly grateful that I have so much to be grateful for that I can carry on writing and writing and writing, but I am all ready at 1300 words in this blog and the recommended length is 800 or else people get bored. So, if you are still reading, I am grateful to you who persevered through all these many words to the end.