I am a pastor in the Rivonia area near Hospitality Lodges and have the privilege of sometimes being invited to come and pray for guests there. When I first started out in the ministry, nothing scared me more than hospital visits or praying for sick people, but over the years, I’ve discovered what a gift it is to be invited into these sacred spaces. Strangers invite you into their most vulnerable moments, and often, especially for end-of-life patients, the boundary between the physical and spiritual, between this life and the next, between the ordinary and the profoundly sacred, seems very thin… sometimes non-existent. In so many other arenas, people are putting on a front. We’re all parading around wearing multiple masks trying to prove that we’ve got it all together, that we’re strong, confident and competent. But in hospital rooms – or in the much gentler and beautiful rooms at Hospitality Lodges – there is never any pretence. When you pray with the dying and the very ill, they don’t try to put on a brave face, or a front of competence or independence (or any concealer… make-up wise or metaphorically). They allow you into that rare, raw, sacred space where they are brutally honest and real… where they are just human.
I’ve learnt so many precious things from these very human encounters and my engagement with the team and guests at the very aptly named Hospitality Lodges. Here are some of them…
- True hospitality really matters
I think we’ve lost the art of hospitality in our world of microwave meals and instant messages, but it really matters. People are feeling more and more disconnected from each other, and from themselves, and one of the ways we overcome that is with genuine hospitality… with reaching out, with caring, with compassion and empathy. This is true for everyone, but especially for those who are already facing the horror and heartache of illness or a challenging medical recovery. True hospitality breaks down barriers and disconnection because it creates a space in which people can be vulnerable, honest and real. It’s one of the simplest and most profound ways of demonstrating love.
- True hospitality is healing
The essence of hospitality is acknowledging the value and presence of another and taking the time to tend to their needs. It means making space and time, sharing what you have, making another seat available at the table and extending generosity. It means thinking about what someone really wants and needs, rather than just expecting them to fit into my plans or schedule or system. I’ve seen how the genuine hospitality the Lodges manage to hold at the centre of all they do is genuinely healing… even for end-of-life patients whose bodies aren’t going to get better. There is true healing for the soul in being seen and loved. Their slower pace and guest-centred model allows them to really get to know people and care about them in their unique circumstances, to ask what they really want and to do all they can to make things beautiful, gentle and kind. How much better the world would be if everyone did that! We all just want to be seen, valued and loved and when we are, there is genuine connection and healing that happens.
- True hospitality is purpose-creating
One of the things that always strikes me when I visit one of the Hospitality Lodges is the sense of meaning and purpose people have around there. The carers, the gardeners, the chef, the receptionist, the physios, the medical teams, the nail techs… all of them have a different kind of purposefulness that comes from caring for others. The work they do is often extremely hard, and sad, but it always matters, and you can see it in the way they go about it and carry themselves. In giving dignity and love to others, they have managed to find it in and for themselves… and isn’t that the gift of hospitality: when we extend it to others, it doubles back on us in the authentic connections that are fostered and the love that is shared.
The world can definitely use more genuine hospitality. As Alexander Strauch said, “Hospitality is love in action.”