Some things in life just happen without a command or instruction. Have you ever seen a herd of cows who suddenly start moving, all in the same direction and walk towards the dairy shed? It’s as if they automatically know what to do, and then they move as one, like a mystical phenomenon. It is almost surreal that they do this without any alarm or sergeant shouting instructions. This strange occurrence also takes place twice a day at the lodges. A few minutes before 8, you see people putting down tools, crockery, cloths, laptops and linen and in trance-like states, gather with others by the pool. And there, we stand in a circle and have our quick-morning-meeting… our motley crew, probably looking like Thai-chi meets cult, meets ring-a-rosie.
The idea of the morning meeting was stolen from the Disney-principle. Walt called it a pre-shift huddle, and used it to make sure that every person, from the guy that made popcorn in the park, to the animation ninjas, to the pavement sweepers knew exactly what to do, when to do it, why they were doing it and how to do it, on that specific day and specific shift. The huddles might have been boring and repetitive, but regardless, this was the culture and people all knew what they were doing.
In the beginning, our meetings were quite formal. We would list who would be doing what, what was needed and what our goals were. But the meetings have morphed into something we all look forward to. We gather for a moment, and on different days, different teams will lead. We like to start the meeting off with some stretching, dancing or wonderfully dysfunctional aerobics. It is a sight for sore eyes, but while we are running on the spot or doing the funky chicken dance, we are all smiling. Five of our end-of-life rooms look out onto this gaterhing spot by the pool, and I see patients and their loved ones fascinated by us. Some even come out and join the exercises. We then, not in a dissimilar style to an AA meeting, go around the circle. We make sure each individual knows what their tasks are for the day, but more importantly, we check in with them too. We see if you slept well, if your kid got to school okay, if your sore ankle is better. We discuss the mundane matters of work life: who is cleaning which room, if we need new toilet brushes, if a vehicle needs to be serviced, but we touch on the unusual too. During these minutes we spend together, we learn about each other, what matters, what is hurting, and where we can find hope with each other. We are able to tackle issues before they get too big, we remind each other that we are all human and that it does not matter what role you have at work, we all have the same goal.
It was my birthday on Friday. As I arrived at work, Zanele came outside to greet me, hugged me tightly and said, “My sister would have been 53 too.” Zanele is one of our cleaners. She is quiet, but smiles often and works thoroughly, never complaining and never taking chances. Whilst we walked toward the patch of grass where we hold the meeting, she told me that her sister, niece and four other family members died in a car accident a few years ago. She did not say this in self-pity or to look for sympathy. I feel like she was just letting me know, that she’s grateful that I’m alive, and got to 53 unlike her sister.
We all stood in our usual circle, everyone together, carers, painters, electricians, cleaners, chefs, nurses, gardeners, receptionists, managers and so forth. The team sang and danced for my birthday and then, in typical Leo fashion, I demanded a hug from each person there in exchange for a brightly coloured cupcake. Beside Zanele was Sandra. She gave me a hug and said, “Happy birthday mamma, thank you for everything.” Sandra’s nine-month-old baby died two months ago. I don’t know how she is even upright and functioning, but somehow she is. Brian hugged me and as he did, I know I was being hugged by a real-life miracle. If it was not for the intervention of a wonderful private GP and a saint of a physician at a government hospital, Brian would have died two years ago. As I hugged each team member, I was overcome by emotion, obviously because I love this group and the work we do together, but more because woven in between us all are stories of incredible sorrow, heaviness, hope, grief, loss and love we carry together.
These souls come to work to help others with their heavy burdens all the time while still lugging around their own. In the almost three decades of running this business, I have seen staff members whose husbands beat them, fathers who have walked out, horrendous accidents, untimely deaths, fires, attacks, kidnapping, stabbings, shootings, violence and in general, just people whose country and systems have failed them. If you think about it logically, people who are dealing with loss, struggles and pain should have no reserve left for others going through similar ordeals.
Yet it is the same people who have known defeat, that have come to understand grief and have been forced to find their path out of the depths of broken dreams and stale promises that are the ones who show up in the worst moments and carry you on their shoulders. It is true that those who have walked through darkness know exactly how to hold the light for someone else.
I love what Audrey Hepburn said: “Nothing is more important than empathy for another human being’s suffering. Nothing. Not a career, not wealth, not intelligence, certainly not status. We have to feel for one another if we’re going to survive with dignity.”
I hope we get to keep walking to our morning huddle like ready-to-be-milked cows for a long, long time, not because we must, but because we’ve learned that life is easier, softer, lighter, much funnier and gentler, when we do it together.