If you follow us on social media, you will be well aware of the fact that our annual 5km fun run is around the corner. The 11th of October is World Hospice and Palliative Care Day, and we are planning a wonderful race around our beautiful suburb. We have already received so much support and the enthusiasm is definitely loading (spoken like a true Gen Z-er). We’ve invited many running groups, including The cows. If you run, cycle or swim, you would have come across them. They wear loud, black and white cow outfits and crazy horns, and their passion is tangible.
I specifically asked The Cows to join us because we recently had the honour of looking after the founder, Grant Bain, during his last weeks. The “herd” that supported him was special, and I saw them carry him, and his family through a torrid time.
The Cows got together to raise funds for children with cancer in 2008. Grant’s two young daughters both had cancer and all proceeds that were raised would go to CHOC – a wonderful organisation that supports the families of kids with cancer. They do things like organise transport to and from hospital, arrange accommodation for families whilst children are admitted, source support groups and arranges meals. You name it, they do it. The Cows have raised over R60 million already! Even though Grant lost both his little girls, The Cows never gave up, and now support others.
I always thought the name (The Cows) was an acronym but the truth is, when the group started in 2008 and participated in the 94.7 cycle race, they thought it would be an once-off thing. Grant wanted to do something for CHOC because their support was invaluable when their 21 month old Jessica was fighting cancer. The group went to a costume-hire-shop and the only outfits that fitted all the riders were cows. And so, when the races and the events kept happening, they simply stuck with the cow theme. They have taken this wonderful MOOOOOvement to new heights and you can see their presence in all the big races (and you can buy some fabulous merch).
All these stories about cows reminded me that we humans are really herd animals too. Just because I am rather partial to a bit of social interaction, I am going to share some facts as to why people do better in a herd, community, group, assembly, gathering, cohort, unit, pack, collective, band, group, fellowship, brotherhood, sisterhood, union, tribe, interest group (read book club), denomination, faction, religious order, cult, schism, branch or faith.
The National Academy of Science cohorts found that higher social integration is linked to lower physiological dysregulation and, in turn, lower mortality risk – particularly with daily or frequent social engagement. I see this with the ancient women who play Bridge all the time… and old guys riding Harley Davidsons.
The same research found that in older adults, every standard deviation increase in social networking was associated with an increase in life expectancy of up to a quarter year and (and this is so incredibly cool) a greater chance of having additional disability-free life expectancy increases too. (In my opinion, simply living longer is not the goal. Living well, with dignity and joy is what we are aiming for).
A study in China tracking nearly 29,000 older adults found that socialising daily led to a delay of up to 204% in time to death.
I recently read a shocking report that most people’s mental AND physical health improves when they join a cult!! It doesn’t last. After a while, their mental and physical wellbeing usually deteriorates – we are talking about a cult after all – but like other groups offering social connections, cults offer this too. Think about how AA members find strength in their tribe. It is not only the addiction or recovery or goals that bind them, but their emotional connection. Most religions offer a sense of community and a feeling of belonging and acceptance. Many people join these and other communities more for the inclusion, validation and nurturing than for the primary goal of the group. My book club is a good example… we’ve not read a book in years!
In physical recovery, we have definitely seen that increased social support predicts better recovery rates and much lower stress. In palliative contexts, compassionate involvement from a family, group or club definitely lowers patient anxiety and that of their loved ones. I was also impressed to learn that if you socialise regularly, it actually reduces stress and inflammation, encourages positive behaviours (not sure if being in ISIS or the Order of the Solar Temple cult will count here), improves your mental health and helps you maintain cognitive function! Some studies estimate that social isolation increases risk of dementia by 40 – 60%.
If we think of our own lives, there is such incredible joy and camaraderie when, for instance, we all wear our gold and green and swear at the dumb ref during a Springbok match, or when we gather in a choir and sing. Even if we are out of tune, we know the other voices will carry us. During COVID there was a mysterious sense of community because we were all going through the same thing – a world wide herd!
I love my safe spaces and soft landings: when I sit at the table with my dinner club girls, talk with the sisterhood at work, have family meals, do yoga with my staff, go on hikes with mates and have gentle fellowship with cherished friends. Learning, growing and loving in these groups are integrally part of being human for me.
Just like a herd gathers around a weak calf, so The Cows gathered around Grant while his daughters were ill and then later, when he passed away, they did it again for his family. On World Hospice and Palliative Care Day, I will be proud to trot along with this herd and all the other humans who thrive – together – in our community.
I hope you will join us on 11 October for our fun-run/walk or roll. All donations will go to our NGO supporting those who do not have access to palliative care. We’ll even give you a section 18A tax certificate if you ask nicely.