This is our last blog of 2025, and as I look back over the year, I’m struck by how often language fails me. The work we do lives in the space where joy and sorrow co-exist. Here life feels both heartbreakingly fragile and fiercely resilient. We experience these extremes often and acutely, and finding words that do them justice is never easy and our tiny human brains aren’t able to make sense of it most of the time .
So, to help me reflect on the year — on our patients, people, staff and grounds — I decided to play a little with language and write my reflections around words that all begin with “re”: words that speak of returning, rebuilding, remembering and, somehow, recommitting every day to do what we do. ( And I am writing the blog on REconciliation day just to be funny )
Recovery / Recuperation
In 2025 we have assisted in more plastic surgery recoveries than any other year. It always amazes me just how brutal these recoveries are. I suspect that as humans we think that if a surgery is elective it won’t be catastrophically painful. It is, and the discomfort of walking around with drains coming out of all sorts of places and squeezing into the surgery garment each day is tough, especially if you are feverish and in terrible pain.
The most popular procedure is the “mommy-make-over” which can be up to a twelve hour surgery. In this procedure fat is lipo-sucked from the stomach and/or other areas like the bingo wings and inner thighs and put into one’s bottom (like a Brazilian butt lift).
I have seen the results. The ladies look amazing a few weeks afterwards.
I have also seen them directly after the surgery and know with certainty thatI am not brave enough to endure this!
Rehabilitation / Reablement
We’ve had a few serious poly-trauma-rehabilitations, but I think the most inspirational one, if I have to choose just one, was JP from the Seychelles. He had a horrendous motorbike accident and had awful internal and external injuries. It was a treacherous recovery with many re-admissions for further procedures.
We became firm friends. It was also special that the two of us were in the same ward during my cholecystectomy in April and would often visit each other while we were in our pj’s. It made his recovery so much more real to me because we shared vulnerable moments over a plate of hospital food.
Respite
The need for respite care is being recognised by certain medical aids, which is wonderful and a major step in the right direction. I know that in the long run, this saves them huge expenses preventing re-admissions and also assisting with the mental and physical health of carers. This year Zazen is literally pumping with respite patients over the festive season and we are delighted that we can also assist patients with MS and Motoneuron disease and their families, even though they might have many years left to live.
It gives such peace of mind to families to know their loved ones are in a beautiful space with kind people while they themselves are on a much deserved break.
Remission
It is incredible when you watch a patient take their first steps without a crutch or a patient return home after an invasive heart surgery, but when a patient finishes their cancer treatment and is declared to be in remission, it is just the best joy you can imagine.
We have walked the road with our friend Ruth from Zambia for years now, from the first gastro-intestinal surgery, to chemo to radiation, and finally, after a brutal journey, she is cancer-free. I loved that we could watch her climb this mountain firsthand, and that she trusted us to do it with her. We are so lucky that we can watch the courage with which people fight these battles and get to see how the human spirit can keep on going long after it thinks it can.
Remembrance
This year we’ve lost many people, which I suppose is not a big surprise considering what we do for a living, but three losses hit us very hard.
Lizette was with us for 14 months and died very suddenly on Woman’s Day. It breaks my heart that her little girl will never know her, but I am also hugely relieved that her suffering has ended. I chat to her husband often and just this morning saw photos of their daughter skipping around their home searching for the Elf on the shelf.
It was also a huge loss when Jean-Paul and Elize passed away after fighting so hard to recover. As much as we think it gets easier, these losses hit you in the gut so hard that you struggle to make sense of this world we live in.
Respect
I am astounded on a daily basis at how tough a calling it is to be a carer. This year I watched one of our carers bravely carry on serving and giving despite a traumatic miscarriage. Another carer’s baby passed away suddenly and cruelly, but she manages to still show up, still aid others in spite of her own pain, and still believe in the precious beauty of life.
Reverence
I don’t use the word “reverence” often. Maybe it’s because it means having a feeling of deep respect, awe or veneration toward something profoundly important, maybe even sacred, and – let’s be honest – few people or things deserve this loaded emotion.
This is what I feel though, towards people who serve in the palliative space. I see the doctors and nurses on Saturday mornings or late Sunday nights, long after anyone would expect them in the rooms of the terminally ill, controlling pain, holding hands, comforting the bereaved. This is holy ground, and the ones that walk here are simply the most generous of spirit that I have ever come across. It breaks my heart that so many people only get to meet these angels at the end of their lives.
Renewal
Obakeng from Zazen had yet another son! She has three now! Xoliswa from Recovery is having a baby soon too. Our gardener Patrick, who works at Sunninghill Guest Lodge, is the proud father of a fourth child, and I’m proud to say that we’ve had countless baby birds hatch on our properties.
Reconnections
I was lucky enough to reconnect with an old friend from my student days when her mom spent her last days with us. In all the loss we see, there is always a strange sense of balance… of give and take.
At Zazen we watched a mom pass away. Her children came from all over the world and lived at the lodge during her last weeks. I would see them spend time around the pool, have meals together and rekindle their relationships. It was beautiful to watch them recreate their family and re-establish roles and connections in the midst of their tragedy.
Renovations and revamping
This year we redid our one pool at the lodge. It was a massive job that took weeks and it covered Zazen’s team in fine white dust powder repeatedly. Just as we thought the end was in sight, the rains started and delayed the progress.
We finally completed it just in time to redo 13 of our bedrooms’ floors, and after that we had 15 rooms’ blinds replaced. I know it is a never-ending job to keep this business alive and looking good, but I just never get used to how much time and money we really spend on maintenance.
Retention and not Retirement
Dear Nelly, who I have known since 1988, has returned from retirement and is working with us again permanently! Phineas has celebrated (or mourned) his 28th year working with me in the garden. The staff recently had many a celebration! Some had a pool party, there was a trip to Gold Reef City, a braai at Zoo Lake, paint-ball wars, and some will be going for a massage.
It is quite incredible to see how we are able to reaffirm who we are and how we show up for one another when we spend quality time together outside of our work environment. I can not think of a better team than this group of people.
Reimagining
We continue to reimagine care by making sure we serve the patient and their family in ways that suit them and not us. We fight against becoming institutionalised and losing our soul by remembering that each patient is someone’s mom, someone’s child or someone’s spouse. I hope that we never stop reenvisioning what it means to offer tender care, deep connections and all round excellence.
Recruitments
Zazen recently employed Sr Robyn who is an absolute gem. She is kind, stoic, wonderfully uncomplicated and has the best laugh. Robyn is young and enthusiastic and got in to doing her palliative diploma next year (not an easy feat!).
Sunninghill Recovery brought Sr Wendy on board. Sr Wendy headed up the neo-natal unit at Netcare Sunninghill for many years and we are in awe of her knowledge, compassion and her willingness to go far beyond what is ever expected. We love her.
As Zazen has expanded we’ve also had to add more carers to our payroll and have loved getting to know them.
Returns
We had quite a few patients who returned to us. Sometimes patients who make use of the respite care return every quarter, and sometimes they return for end of life care. We often also care for family members who used to visit patients but now need care themselves.
We did giggle this year when a regular respite care patient, who is almost 100, booked her son in after he had an accident cutting down a tree. I don’t think he thought he’d ever return as a patient.
Reach
It is our passion to serve and believe that not only those who are financially able to afford good care should get it. Zazen’s NGO continues to raise money to assist with helping the uninsured, and I know we change their last days and make a massive difference to the suffering of their loved ones.
On a personal level we often look after those who cross our path and need us. Recently we opened up our hearts and a room to one of our staff’s family members. She had a horrendous ordeal and delivered a stillborn through a c-section. The government hospital could not care for her properly and she left with physical and emotional wounds. Having her and her husband here with us while they grieve allowed them to heal. It also reminded our team that we are family and we look out for each other and those we love.
Recalibrating
Over the festive season we will hopefully re-energise, re-commit, re-dedicate, re-envision and reprioritise.
May your Christmas break be filled with restoration, rest, relaxing, rebalancing and re-grounding. May you recommit to what matters most and gently realign your heart, your priorities and your goals.
May 2026 bring resilience for the hard days, resourcefulness on days you are uncertain, meaningful relationships, reconciliation if needed for your healing and maybe, a wonderful surprise reunion to remind you that love always find its way back to us.